Our Personal Health

How Rich is Your Life?

By Angela Myers

If you are reading this article, good chances you are someone with drive, with grit, someone who loves the feeling of being successful.  You will give full focus to do whatever it takes to move towards the goal or the win.

These are qualities we admire.  Your ability to push forward, work hard, and be focused creates both financial wealth and success in your career.  However, these strengths create deficits in our personal lives when left unbalanced.  Suicide rates within the legal profession are higher than any other profession!  Over 28% of lawyers struggle with depression,  and others chart high levels of anxiety, problematic drinking, and chronic stress.  Research suggests lawyers are the most unhappy group of professionals in the western world.

There are many theories as to why this profession depletes individuals, however, the purpose of this message is to introduce you to a paradigm that will lead you to a happy and fulfilling life as you begin to take actions accordingly.   

Having a rich life experience is achieved by building up multiple areas of wealth!   Wealth is often related to finances, but wealth is actually much more expansive than the abundance of money or assets you own.  The definition of wealth we will use here is “having an abundance of resources”.  There are 8 sources of wealth, only 1 of them being your MATERIAL/FINANCIAL wealth.    If you invest in these 7 other sources of wealth,  you will be truly wealthy, deeply content, and profoundly happy!  Here I will share 4 sources of wealth that are the most likely to be underdeveloped for those who practice law.

The first source of wealth is your RELATIONSHIPS.  “The quality of your life is the quality of your relationships”- Tony Robbins.   What if you had a robust and abundant bank account, yet were alone, estranged from your family, divorced, with minimal/superficial friendships?  Each night that you spent alone in your beautiful house, or even spent at a party with people who didn’t know or really care about you, you would feel empty and lacking inside.   Richness in life comes from having deep, loving connections to others and mutually life-giving relationships.  This could come from relationships with our romantic partner, a few great friends, perhaps our family, and/or our children.  Giving and receiving of love and care is a basic human need that cannot be met with other substitutes.   Quality relationships take time to grow, just like a bank account.  They grow by your being intentional to give your spouse/partner what THEY most need (time, attention, gifts, affection, etc).  It’s being intentional to keep good friends in your life.  It’s taking time to let your kids know you are proud of them and love them, or to make time for something that’s important to them.  Taking little actions every day, week, and month will build up the “bank account” of quality relationships in your life.  Take inventory of the wealth of your relationships….are they rich and fulfilling?  Are they conflictual, or aloof?   What is one action you could take today that would build up a quality relationship in your life?

Another area of wealth is your PERSONAL HEALTH.  “Man sacrifices his health to make money, then sacrifices his money to recuperate his health” -Dalai Lama. Even if you had great relationships and 10 million in the bank,  if you had not invested in your health you could find yourself too unwell to enjoy life.   This is another area of wealth that requires small investments, every day, to build up deep health.  You invest in your health with small, consistent deposits such as getting 7-8 hours of sleep,  reducing stress (chronic Cortisol), by eating clean and nutritious foods, by exercising and caring for your body, or  avoiding toxins that would strip health such as tobacco, processed/fried/sugary foods, and excess alcohol or excess caffeine.  Your physical health is one of your greatest assets, allowing you to live a full, rich life and enjoy people and experiences.   What is your personal health account like?   What is one action you could take today that would increase the level of physical health in your body?

A third source of wealth is EMOTIONAL/ SPIRITUAL WEALTH.  Being emotionally and spiritually wealthy means that you are able to experience peace, joy, and a sense of wellbeing in life.  Many people achieve financial success, and success in their career, yet carry persistent pressure and anxiety that keeps them from fully enjoying special moments.  I have coached highly successful professionals who can count on one hand the amount of times in their lives they felt truly relaxed.   If our thoughts are anxiety-provoking, and the way we talk to ourselves is negative or harsh or never satisfied, we will not possess a rich internal life.  If our most dominant feelings are heavy (anxiety, frustration, disappointment, guilt, not-doing-enough, feeling insignificant, etc), we do not have a rich inner life.  There are several ways in which you can build emotional/spiritual wealth!  Some people find it through religion, attending services or meetings.  Some people build it through meditation and breathwork.  Some people invest in their spiritual health by spending time in nature, feeling inner connection and presence.  Some people read or listen to personal development material that helps them change negative thought patterns.  Some people practice gratitude or self-compassion.  Journaling, prayer,  counseling/coaching…..these are other examples of small actions that begin to build a rich inner life.  How rich is your inner life?  What can you do to invest more in this area?

Wired deep into every human is a need for contribution, to feel that we made a difference and impacted our world.  Another area of wealth is IMPACT.  This means giving to others, to the community, having a sense of purpose, impacting someone’s life for the good, leaving the world a little better.   When we live without purpose, without impact, we have a sense that something is missing.  We are neglecting one of our human needs!  Life will not feel deeply fulfilling unless we extend ourselves to others.  The Dead Sea in the Middle East does not support life  because it doesn’t have an outlet, or outflow.  The water it receives is trapped, contained within itself, and left to evaporate.  Other oceans that have outlets (flow in and flow out) are teaming with life.  So with us, when we keep our focus, energies, and resources all for ourselves and do not have an outflow, we will not experience a sense of fulfillment in life.  A few ways to build wealth in this area are to contribute financially to a cause, to give your time with volunteering, to contribute your intellectual resources (ex: advocating or mentoring), to give of your talents to help others.  How are you impacting the people and world around you?  What actions could you take to increase this area of wealth in your life?

Many of these areas of wealth effect each other, as the tide rises all boats.  What if you spent time growing your emotional and spiritual health?  As you experienced more peace and joy, your cortisol levels would drop, your body would become physically healthier and also your relationships would improve!   What if you invested in your level of impact?  Your level of emotional/spiritual health would also increase as you felt happiness and fulfillment from meeting your need for contribution to a cause greater than yourself.   

As you read over these 4 sources of wealth, perhaps you realized that one or two of these are in a deficit, or underdeveloped in your life. Maybe you have not invested consistently in a few of these areas, or even recognized them as potential areas of wealth.  For those that practice law, the tendency is to be too heavily focused on career and finances (2 areas of wealth I did not expound on in this article).  While success in your career and finances may be abundant for you, they may not be in balance with the other 4 equally important sources mentioned previously.   This lack of balance would create the “warning signals” that research has shown us are so  prevalent in this profession.  

When our sources of wealth are not balanced, we will know.  There will be anxiety, restlessness, lack of peace,  distress in relationships, failed health, lack of meaning in life, inability to sleep,  and many more signs.   These are not problems, they are signals,  like check engine lights that come on to warn us that something is wrong and in need of attention.  Pay attention to your signals, they are given to you to tell you that something is out of alignment and calling you to action!  Most of us just want the signals (mentioned above) to go away.  Our greatest tendency is to either numb ourselves or treat the signal instead of addressing the deficit.   Imagine if your “Low Fuel” light came on in your car and you just covered it with a piece of duct tape so you didn’t see it, or pulled a fuse to make it go away!  You did not address the deficit in your tank, only got rid of the annoying light.   We tend to get a pill from the doctor to manage our anxiety, or have another glass of alcohol after a fight with someone we love.  My encouragement to you is to listen to these signals (problems), turn towards the source, and to take action on the deficient area.    The signals are telling you that your account is overdrawn and the action needed is to start making slow, consistent deposits to get these sources of wealth to a place of abundance over time. 

Life is most rewarding and rich when we live with abundance in all of these areas of wealth.   My intention for you is to be empowered by this paradigm, to be emboldened to face your areas of deficit, and to be encouraged to make small deposits every day.

Angela Myers is a Personal Development Coach, Presenter/Speaker,  and Author, with her most recent book titled “Living Younger”.