HAPPINESS AND UNHAPPINESS

 

“Happiness cannot come from without, it must come from within.”

                                    Helen Keller

What makes someone else happy may not make us happy. What makes

us happy may not make someone else happy. For thousands of years

human beings have struggled to define “happiness.” No more so than

last 30 years in the United States. With so many so called “experts”

trying to tell us what “happiness” is and what we should do or be feeling.

No one can sell “happiness.” We should look at what happiness is not.

We have a better intuition for what we do not like, what causes discomfort,

or makes us miserable. But recognize the difference between real

discomfort versus the need to get out of our comfort zone. The “pursuit

of happiness” is different from the avoidance of “unhappiness”. We

may not know what happiness is or what makes us happy at any given

point in time, but we do know what makes us unhappy, what we can

do about it and the choices we make. If we start with being aware of

and recognizing what makes us unhappy then we can make the right

choices for ourselves and start building a foundation of “happiness.”

Avoiding the unpleasantries and what drags us down. Be mindful that

often in life it is the struggles or when we are pushing through something

uncomfortable that when we come out the other side, and we will, that

we feel a true sense of accomplishment, satisfaction, and “happiness”.

You will never be happy if you continue to search for what happiness

consists of. You will never live if you are constantly searching

for the meaning of life. Everything worthwhile in life is won through

struggle, effort, or plain hard work. We think we and our lives should

just be perfect. It is not. It is messy. It is difficult, but only as messy

and difficult as we choose to see it in our minds and what we choose

to dwell on. Focus on what is important to you. Your family. Helping

others. Let the rest go. Focus on what you can control. Let the rest go.

Everything worthwhile is gained through some sort of very epic struggle.

It is what gives us satisfaction from a job well done. A life well lived.

What is happiness anyway? I have heard it been said that happiness

is the joy of pursuing your life’s purpose or having purpose. What

then is the purpose? There are many purposes: family, kids, spouse,

support, so everyone is content and “happy.” Happiness is grace, joy,

poise, standing tall, doing the right thing, helping others, doing what is

right. Taking care of your mind, body, and spirit. Being the best version

of yourself at the moment. Tackling what the universe is asking of you

in the moment. Then there is the opposite of happiness. You feel bad.

Pleasure or overindulgence leads to feeling bad. We feel good with

exercise. Sleep. Reading. Learning. Resting. Meditating. A good poop.

Still not sure what the purpose is big picture? Then look at what is

right in front of you. What is your purpose for the day? What is being

asked of you right now? Focus on that. Take care of the trivial things

right under your nose. Simple acts of kindness to other people improve

our own happiness. Perpetual kindness leads to perpetual happiness.

“A person becomes happy to the same extent to

which he or she gives happiness to other people.”

                                        Jeremy Bentham

You can get the International bestseller The Shi*t I Wished I learned in College here:

 https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0C5FMWDGW