Jaime Jackson Safety Blog: DEALING WITH LOSS AND TRAGEDY

Jaime Jackson Safety Blog: DEALING WITH LOSS AND TRAGEDY:   “Never. We never lose our loved ones. They accompany us; they don’t disappear from our lives. We are merely in different rooms.”          ...

DEALING WITH LOSS AND TRAGEDY

 

“Never. We never lose our loved ones. They

accompany us; they don’t disappear from our

lives. We are merely in different rooms.”

                                        Paulo Coelho

We have all experienced heart wrenching loss. Loss of a spouse,

mom, dad, son, daughter, brother, sister, best friend. Sometimes, it

is an unexpected and unnecessary loss, in the cruelest of ways. How

can we cope? How can we deal with it? We must, so we do, we must

continue. But where do we find the strength? As an attorney, I have

met many people who have lost a loved one and are grieving. Oftentimes,

senseless, unnecessary loss, which was preventable if other

people had followed the safety rules. I have also met a lot of people

with tremendous heart, strength, and inspiration. I marvel at how they

can carry such pain in their hearts and carry on with great strength

and fortitude. How do they do it? I think we each deal with our losses

in our own way, in our own time, by ourselves, and with the help of

others. But I think a big part of that is simply asking ourselves: What

would the person we have lost want us to do? What would they do?

How would they do it? We can, and we must draw strength from these

questions. Would they want us to shut ourselves in, shut down, or

just be sad? For a little while, but then they would want us to get back

up, dust ourselves off, and live the fullest, most productive, happiest

lives of which we are capable. Would they want us to get out there,

smile, make the world a better place and honor their memories? Those

wonderful memories. Yes, and they are there to help us. Get out of

our sadness and soar. I heard a song by Bette Midler once, and there

is a line in it that goes something like, “did you ever know that you’re

my hero? The wind beneath my wings.” We will always have the wind

beneath our wings, it is just a matter of what we do with it.

You can get the International bestseller The Shi*t I Wished I learned in College here:

 https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0C5FMWDGW

Jaime Jackson Safety Blog: HOLD YOUR HEAD UP HIGH

Jaime Jackson Safety Blog: HOLD YOUR HEAD UP HIGH:   “Never bend your head, hold your head up high. Look the world straight in the eye.”                                          Helen Keller ...

HOLD YOUR HEAD UP HIGH

 

“Never bend your head, hold your head up

high. Look the world straight in the eye.”

                                        Helen Keller

What good does it do to slink around with your tail between your legs

looking at the floor? Squirming in your seat looking away. Engage.

Look the other person straight in the eye. Make eye contact. Connect.

Keep eye contact. What do you think the other person is thinking when

they are talking to you, and you are looking down at the floor or off in

the distance? You are scared. Weak. Untrustworthy. Spineless. Stand

tall. Be resolute. You are not meaning to intimidate, that is not it, but

engage, listen, connect. Listening with your eyes. When we talk to our

kids and they do something wrong, they look at the floor, or avert eye

contact. Hold your head up high and look the world straight in the eye.

You can get the International bestseller The Shi*t I Wished I learned in College here:

 https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0C5FMWDGW

Jaime Jackson Safety Blog: HOPE

Jaime Jackson Safety Blog: HOPE:                                                                    “Hope is the thing with feathers that perches in the soul and sings the t...

HOPE

                                                         

“Hope is the thing with feathers that perches in the soul and

sings the tune without the words and never stops at all.”

                                        Emily Dickinson

“The definition of hope is you still believe even when it is hard.”

                                        Barack Obama

Hope is a funny sort of thing. Hope is both a “positive” and a “negative”

to the extent that maybe one’s point of view. Positive because the very

word “hope” is uplifting when we hear it, conjuring up the image of

better days ahead. At the same time “hope” is a negative because it

would suggest we are currently at present in a terrible, awful, or low

spot and we may very well be. We “hope” to get out of it, but at the

same time our current struggles, lows, and battles are what make us

better; we improve from getting through them, so hope, like destiny

or fate, is really us struggling through our current predicament and

coming out the other side, then eventually doing something similar all

over again. Bottom line is hope is what we make it. Mark Manson has

a great book, Hope is F*****, if you can get past the title, it’s a very

well researched and thought-out practical read. Abe Lincoln said the

best way to predict the future is to create it, one could also say the

best way to have hope is to create it. Hope, faith, love, joy, grace are

the things that help us get through some of our darkest hours of need.

Our low points. That point of the race where the excitement of the start

is over, and we are not quite at the point where we can sense or see

the finish line. Hope. How though can we use hope and faith when

we are on a high point, or a peak? Believe in better. Hope for even

greater heights and peaks. Soaring to new heights because there are

no limits. Things are never as bad as they seem, nor are they ever as

good as they seem. Hope, faith, the power of now, being satisfied with

what you have, and not longing for something else. Believe in better.

You can get the International bestseller The Shi*t I Wished I learned in College here:

 https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0C5FMWDGW

Jaime Jackson Safety Blog: HABITS

Jaime Jackson Safety Blog: HABITS:   “We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence then is not an act but a habit.”                                           Aristotle Habits. The...

HABITS

 

“We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence

then is not an act but a habit.”

                                        Aristotle

Habits. There are both “good” and “bad” habits. “Good” habits are

things that make us feel better about ourselves (mood follows action).

Good habits are what we want to build on. Habits and routines take

our emotions out of the decision-making process. We just do it. Like

getting up and going for a run early in the morning. Habits that are

“bad” for us, like drinking, not eating well, are difficult to break or

get out of that routine. Perhaps because these “bad” habits trigger

an emotional response, or the unconscious brain which we just

cannot fight. Impossible. I want. I need. All the alibis or stories we tell

ourselves. Rationalization. Confirmation bias. Hit the pause button,

take the emotion, pleasure aspect out of the equation. Recognize the

cue and change the response. Change the emotion. Feeling, desire,

short term thinking. Refocus. Try a different response. Better yet, try

to create an environment that fosters good habits and eliminate the

environment that tempts us to indulge in unhealthy habits. Think long

term, not quick fix emotional response. Pause. Divert. Go long term.

Get out of the short-term moment. Good habits will build themselves,

bit by bit, brick by brick, and become second nature, like when we

learn to drive a car, stick shift it just happens. So too will unhealthy

habits, so be careful.

“Discipline is choosing between what you

want now, and what you want most.”

                                        Abraham Lincoln

You can get the International bestseller The Shi*t I Wished I learned in College here:

 https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0C5FMWDGW