Saturday, July 15, 2023

CONTROL

 



CONTROL

“If everything seems to be under control,

you are not going fast enough.”

                                                Mario Andretti

There are very few things we can control. We can control how we

choose to see things. How we choose to react to things. We cannot

always control what happens to us or around us, but we can control

how we react to it. Our anxiety comes from wanting things that are

outside our control. We can control our point of view. We can control

how we feel. How we see the world. How we react to circumstances

around us. We can prepare. We can train. We can get in the arena. We

can just get started. We can get out of our comfort zones. We can get

on the surfboard and be riding the wave, then we may find ourselves

underwater. Relax, accept it, rely on your physical and mental training

and the waves will pass over us. We know what we must do. Do our

best. Do the work. We cannot always control the stimulus, but we

can control our response. We can control our own behavior, our own

actions, and reactions. We must focus on what is within our control

and let go of what we cannot control. What other people do and think

is their choice, not ours. Who cares what other people think, they have

their own problems and are not thinking about us anyway. Do what

we can do and do it well in line with our virtues and values. Control is

defined in the dictionary as: “to exercise restraining or directing influence

over; to have power over.” How do we choose to exercise our

control? Do we choose to respond with anger, spite, vitriol, revenge?

The better course of action is to pause, reflect, contemplate, plan

out our possible choices and responses, then respond with courage,

confidence, contemplation, calmness, clarity, and character. Be better.

Do not make assumptions. Consider the other person’s point of view.

Consider you may not always be right. You do not know all the facts.

You have something to learn. Be curious. Cool as a cucumber. Calculated.

Cunning. Often the best revenge is to not act like the other

person is acting. Have the courage and mindset to look at what you

can control and let go of what you cannot control.

At first thought, this is tough to reconcile with the Stoic benchmark

principles Epictetus taught of concentrating on what you can control

(your thoughts, mind, and choices) and what you cannot control (externals).

The concepts are perfectly aligned. Like the racecar driver, a

skier, biker, we are behind the wheel. We are in control. That is until

you hit a pothole, or someone hits you, but those are externals. If we

focus on what we can control, we can indeed put the pedal to the metal

and act. Pushing ourselves to the limits. It may be a fine line, but it is

indeed within our control. How far we push ourselves. We may have

the sensation we are “out of control,” however, with well- planned

preparation and training we are not. We maintain control of ourselves

and proceed according to our well thought out plan. External problems

may happen on our journey that temporarily send us spinning out of

control, but we remain behind the wheel with our feet on the gas or

brake, shifting gears as we go but still in control.

You can get the International bestseller The Shi*t I Wished I learned in College here:

 https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0C5FMWDGW

No comments:

Post a Comment