THE RIGHT PATH

If we are not excited about it, its not the right path. Abraham Hicks

Sometimes we step in a puddle, slip on the ice, trip over a rock on our trail, fall off our bikes, ride the wave on surfboards then find ourselves underwater, or we are flying high down that double black diamond cruising through that turn when we catch an edge and wipe out spectacularly. At times we go down harder than others on the path and journey of life. But we always get back up dust ourselves off and keep going. We may at times need to alter our path we are on, head down a different path or keep buggering on steadfastly down the path we started. We will eventually get to the clearing or open meadow and say wow! What a view, pause, reflect, look around, enjoy the beauty, soak up the feeling and then we say let's do that again! Maybe we head off to another peak on the next mountain range but we just keep going and when we do stop and look back we just might realize the best part was the struggles where we picked ourselves up after the fall.

 

CONTROL

 

There are very few things we can control. We can control how we choose to see things. How we choose to react to things. We cannot always control what happens to us or around us, but we can control how we react to it. We can control our point of view. We can control how we feel. How we see the world. How we react to circumstances around us. We can prepare. We can train. We can get in the arena. We can just get started. We can get out of our comfort zones. We can get on the surfboard and be riding the wave, then we may find ourselves underwater. Relax, accept it, rely on your physical and mental training and the wave will pass over us. We know what we must do. Do our best. Do the work. We cannot always control the stimulus, but we can control our response. We can control our own behavior, our own actions and reactions. We must focus on what is within our control and let go of what we cannot control. That is what other people do and think, that is their choice. Do what we can do and do it well in line with our virtues and values.

 

WORKED UP

 

What good does getting ourselves all worked up or angry over something or what someone said do us? A little righteous indignation over an injustice can be a good thing and anger can be a useful tool at the right time and place and when used in the right way to help keep us focused and on track when we need the fuel. But when we feel the anger boiling up within us or we feel ourselves getting worked up that is not the time to burst out or boil over. Save that feeling and energy for when we need it. Practice restraint. Exercise patience. Say hello their anger, I recognize you and I welcome you but now is not the time there will be a time later but not now. Let's move on together or try a different path for now. Then coolly calmly collectively calculate your path and plan and prepare for the future. We may just find the anger goes away or we overreacted for no good reason or we were mistaken. It also helps not to take everything personally because it's not always about us.

 

OVERTHINKING IT

 

Overthinking sometimes can create stress, worry, or fear. Some things are like a cold shower, we just gotta get in. After a while it is tolerable, even feels pretty good. Yes, we need to think through things, to diligently prepare and do the work. But fretting or worrying too much can be counterproductive. Calm, cool, confidence knowing you got this, you have put in the work. You have thought things through. You have prepared. You are ready to go. Avoid getting sidetracked with excessive worry or distraction. A little nervous energy, excitement, angst is a good. It keeps us focused on the task at hand and reminds us we very much care but be wary of the opposite end of the spectrum where we overanalyze, overthink and “what if” ourselves into inefficiency. Stay focused. Stay calm. Stay confident and know you are quite good enough and quite capable . Whatever happens you are well suited for the job because you are good at what you do, you are capable, prepared, and ready to get it done.

 

GET IN THE ARENA WITH THE BULL OF LIFE

 

It is better to be in the arena getting stomped by the bull then it is to be sitting in the stands or out in the parking lot from the outside looking in. Get in and get started. The best way to get things done is to get started. Say yes to what you want to do and no to what you do not want to do. But when you do say yes, do your best! Get out of your comfort zone. Do the work. Practice, prepare, be relentless in your pursuit. Do what is right. Pause, plan, think and then get in the arena with the bull. You cannot know what you are truly capable of unless you get in there with the bull of life and tangle. There exists a higher power, another force or forces that come through a mind, body and spirit that is well prepared and well trained for the bull of life.

CORE

 

Core being. Core of the universe. Core is the center of everything we do. Our core is the center of our body’s universe. Our core is the center of our being. Our core is the foundation of all our movement. We must work at our core. This is too important, no excuses. 9 minutes and 30 seconds a day. That is it that's all it takes. You can do more of course, but we must take 9 minutes and 30 seconds a day and work our core. Find any app on your phone that has a 30 second timer and do 30 seconds of:

·      Plank

·      Push throughs

·      Bicycles

·      Single side left bicycle

·      Single side right bicycle

·      Heel taps

·      Alternate leg raises

·      Leg pushouts on back

·      Russian twist

·      Boat pose push outs

·      Right side plank

·      Left side plank

·      Marching plank

·      Flutter kicks

Hint-best time and place is on your bathroom carpet before you get in the shower.

 

PATIENCE

Patience is a virtue. It has been said good things come to those who wait. Patience is a wonderful trait, but also must be balanced with the need to push on or push through when the situation requires it. Patience does not mean just sitting back and hoping for something “good” to happen to you of fall in your lap. First comes the work, the planning, preparation, practice. Getting started. Setting the wheels in motion, then being patient that the fruits of your labor will blossom.  Not unlike a farmer who spends great effort preparing soil for crop.  Planting crop, then waiting for the bounty to grow. This of course requires patience for the crop to grow, but so too must the farmer tend to his fields, particularly if there is some adverse weather or unexpected developments. Passivity and patience are not the same thing. Sometimes the pot needs to be stirred or mixed up, or others need to some “encouragement” to act. But patience is an important skill and mindset for sure. So to is the ability to know when to be patient and when its time to push.

 

THE GRASS IS ALWAYS GREENER

 

If only I had this, or if only I had that.  Ambition can be a good thing. Desire can be a good thing. Ambition and desire can lead us to where we want to go, assuming we know where we want to go and that is where we want to be. These things can also be a distraction or an illusion. I will be happy if ..., I will be satisfied if... This conditional happiness can be a trap. Not to be confused with legitimate goals. The key is to love the process, love the journey, be happy in the present and the path we are on. If we are always chasing rainbows or walking towards horizons we will never get to or any closer to, we will lose sight of the beauty we are standing in the middle of. What we are surrounded with. It is like wanting what you cannot have, that forbidden fruit, it is because we can't have it that we want it. We do not really need it. We already got it. It is not about wanting what you cannot have, but rather wanting what you already got and being thankful and grateful for what we do have. Chasing the more can be rewarding if we love the chase, but not if we are only doing the chasing because we want the more, the greener grass.  It’s not having what you want, it’s wanting what you’ve got.  Sheryl Crow

 

FINISH WHAT YOU START

How many times have we stopped just short? We are working on a project, we are doing a workout program, we are reading a book and we just don't quite finish what we started. Kind of like not sticking to our “New Year’s resolutions”. Then there is the David Goggins approach of one more rep, mother&^%$#&. Goggins does finish what he starts, even if it takes driving back to the gym to do the 10th pull up because he stopped at nine, that’s great and has its place, but may be a little extreme for some of us in our day to day lives. We have heard, the phrase going the extra mile, it's lonely on the extra mile, as is usually the case though, there is a middle ground between these two poles, one “quitting ” or stopping short of what we started, and on the other end kind of extreme, put in more, put in more until we burn out, and that is just do the task at hand, finish what we start, do our job, do our best  Just finish. Nothing less. Finish the project one step at a time. Finish our workout program one rep at a time.  Finish the book. (unless it’s a real stinker then move on to the next one, life is short). It's about finishing what you started and doing your best. That is, it. Do what you say, say what you mean. Never give in. Never come up short. Just do it. Get the job done. Then move on to the next job and get it done. One step, one rep, one thought, one task at a time. Don't sell yourself short. Finish what you started.

 

 

DESTINY, FATE AND FORTUNE

 

“It's not in the stars to hold our destiny, but in ourselves”. William Shakespeare

“Accept the place divine providence has found for you”. Ralph Waldo Emerson

Destiny, fate, fortune, is it predetermined or do we make it or is it both? We certainly have choices in life over what we can control and what we cannot control. We may not always be able to control what happens to us or around us, but we can control how we choose to respond to it. (Victor Frankel-Man's Search for Meaning) We may have been born in a certain place, with certain parents, in a particular body, placed on a certain path, but then the rest is up to us, in ourselves through our actions and choices we make. Kobe Bryant may have been born into a certain body type, with a certain mindset, but, make no mistake, he was not gifted into being one of the greatest NBA players of all time, he was one of the hardest working players ever. Just like any other master of their craft (Robert Greene- Mastery) Read, workout, be kind, help others, make the best out of the situation right before you, our judgment of things, our point of view is all under our control. Which path or paths we choose and how hard we choose to work at it is up to us. Yes, we are dealt a certain hand, or given certain opportunities or obstacles, how we choose to pursue and overcome them is up to us.

 

IN A HURRY

 

I'm in a hurry to get things done, I rush and rush until life's no fun. All I really gotta do is live and die, I'm in a hurry and I don't know why. -- Alabama

 

Jumping from one fire to the next. Is that what we really need, or want, or is there a better way? We have choices, we can control our time, or we should be able to, right? Why do we do this to ourselves? Pack our schedules, or even when they may not be packed, we need that sensation we are “busy”, so we still rush and rush from one thing to the next or fritter away precious time mindlessly spinning our wheels or going through the motions because we “feel” we must.  But pause and ask are we busy being productive? Are we busy being productive at what we truly want? Or are we busy to feel busy? Seeking out that “feeling” we are really important, we are really busy today or are we frittering away the day without taking time for ourselves, time to think, time to contemplate. Are we just stirring the pot to create controversy, stress, because we need that feeling of strife or of importance or are we really standing up for what we know is right and what needs to be done. If it does not bring us closer to our end game and it's not in line with our values-- avoid it. Sometimes you have to say no to the mediocre so you can say yes to the great. Are you in a hurry and don't know why?

 

INNER STRENGTH

We all have it. Some people may be better at tapping into it or going deeper than others, but it's in there somewhere. Where does it come from? Fortitude, persistence, resilience, relentlessness, justice, wisdom, courage, temperance, patience, strength, whatever label we choose to put on it, these are just wording we use, what counts is what we do and how we act. We may never know the exact answer whatever, wherever divine Providence or the universe has placed within us or whatever we have grown, developed, cultivated ourselves or both, we are all capable of things or so much more than what we ever “thought” possible. The choices we make based on our values is the foundation for everything we do. The hero and the coward, they feel the same inside, they just make different choices on how to act or what to do. Which do you choose? I choose courage. I choose truth. I choose justice. I choose to do my best no matter what the circumstances may be. I don't know where our “inner strength” comes from in the end, but I do know it's there and I am going to use it to the best of my ability.

 

OUTSIDE

 

Go play outside.

We spend more time inside, whether it be in our houses or cars, than we do outside. That's backwards. Being outside is the best medicine. Fresh air is better than a pill bottle. A mountain stream beats a beer any day. A walk in the woods. Run in the park. Stars at night. Sunrise in the morning. Sunset in the evening. Full moon. Crescent moon. Waxing and waning moon. Sitting on a park bench. Sitting under a fir tree in the park. Watching the birds fly above. Seeing a bear (from far away). Watching an eagle fly. Swimming in a lake. Surfing on a wave in the ocean. Skiing down a mountainside. Fly fishing in a stream. Floating down the river. Sitting around a campfire. Hiking the trails. Running anywhere. Walking anywhere. Look up. Look around. Natures medicine.

Go play outside.

 

EFFORT

 

A surplus of effort could overcome a deficit of confidence. Sonia Sotomayer

 Everyone has that self-doubt, anxiety, fear, apprehension, excitement, whatever label you want to put on it.  A more positive spin is excitement. I choose excitement. Some people are just better at hiding it than others but many of us lack confidence, are worried inside, or downright fearful. But a funny thing happens when you, do the work, practice, put in the effort , our “anxiety” dissipates and our confidence grows. “I got this”. The best elixir for nerves is preparation. We are all quite capable, and when we work at our skills or practice our craft, or prepare our presentation, speech, opening statement whatever our current project is as we prepare, a wonderful side effect of preparation, is reduced stress, lower anxiety, increased confidence. Ask any Olympic athlete before their event or Tom Brady before the Super Bowl, if they are nervous? Typical responses is heck no, I am excited, I am ready, let's go. That mindset comes from having put in the effort. Preparation. Effort.

 

BUST THROUGH RESISTANCE AND FIND YOUR GROOVE

You don't need to see the whole staircase, just take the first step. Martin Luther King, Jr.

 

A journey of 1000 miles starts with the first step. Lao Tzu Just get started and magical things will happen. Fredrich Nietzsche Fight and bust through resistance to tap into your true potential. We tend to stop and top out at 40 percent or less of what we are capable of, but we are truly capable of so much more than we imagine if we just believe and keep going.  Get in the arena. Teddy Roosevelt. Get through the first two miles and find your groove. Things start to happen, doors open, opportunities present themselves if you are open and aware of them. If you sit back and wait for the “right” time or “perfect” opportunity you will end up sitting on the sidelines for a long time. Prepare, plan, think, decide and move on. Surround yourself with a good team. Be open and honest. Do the right thing. Make reasoned, contemplated, well thought out decisions, but keep moving forward with relentless forward progress. Sometimes progress means pausing, thinking, regrouping, taking a different path, then just taking the next step, but it all starts with getting  going and taking the first step, even when you don't see the whole staircase.

 

IN THE ARENA

 

It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man that is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs, who comes up short again and again, because there is no effort without error and shortcoming; but who does actually strive to do the deeds; who knows great enthusiasms, the great devotions; who spends himself in a worthy cause; who at the best knows in the end triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly.

                                                          Theodore Roosevelt

 

SNOW

Snow can be those thick heavy flakes or those light fluffy kinds. No two snowflakes are alike. Some people go through their whole lives and never see snow, some people see it every day of their lives. Snow can cover everything, cover your driveway so you cannot leave. Cover the roads so the roads are slippery and treacherous. But you can work and shovel your sidewalks, driveway, clear the roads, so you can get around in the snow. Snow can be piled up high all around you, but bare in spots you clear away. You can get buried in the snow. We can play in the snow. Ski, snowshoe, snowmobile, build a snowman or an igloo. Snow melts in most places, it can snow one to two inches or one to two feet. Snow is cold. It can be sunny and snow all around you at the same time. Snow can blow in your face so you cannot see. Snow melts when it warms up, snow goes away when springtime comes, and snow returns when winter comes around again. Snow is a lot like life, heavy at times, light, and fluffy at others. Life traps us under a heavy snowstorm and life is joyous, light and playful as we ride on the snow. Snow melts and we are warm, sunny, and cozy. Then we go through the same cycle again and again. Hopefully!

 

NATURE

Nature has a way of showing us the way. The beautiful jaw dropping sunrise that makes us say, wow! The full moon that shines bright, with a gazillion stars all around. The rainbow after or during the rain. The wind behind our backs. The wind in our face. The stillness. The hurricane, tornado, snowstorm, may all come and go, but there is always stillness, calm, and beauty after a storm and there is always a storm after the beautiful clear day. Have you ever noticed that the sun seems to shine brightest after the storm? Just like nature we also seem to bounce back or reach new heights after our own storm or fall. But each day no matter what the sun rises, some days it's warmer or brighter than others, but it's always there. Spring Flowers, spring growth, summer, fall, winter are all transformations, repeatedly. Just like us. Even in the darkest hours, we have the moon to show us the way. Yes, it waxes and wanes, but it's always there. So, pay attention to nature. Be with nature. Follow nature because it shows us the way. You just need to pay attention.

 WIND

“You are the wind beneath my wings” Bette Midler

Sometimes the wind is still. Sometimes the wind is beneath your wings. Sometimes the wind is at your back and sometimes it is in your face. Cold, bitter, strong, gale winds, right in your face. No matter what, just keep going. The sun will always shine brightest after the storm. This too shall pass and once again the winds will turn to stillness, beneath your wings or at your back. The eagle may soar majestically, effortlessly a mile in the sky above us, but, they weren't just magically put there. They flap their wings and work their way up . To stay there, while it may look easy, is difficult, often much harder work, especially when the winds kick up again, which they inevitably will, but, we must stay the course, keep moving, flapping our wings, relying on our training, practice and natural talents and strengths that brought us up to begin with. We may need to alter our path, but just keep at it. There is no stronger, brighter, more rewarding moment than rising up after the wind has knocked us down or held us back. We can and will overcome it.

 

MANTRA

A mantra can help keep us focused or bring us back to reminding us what is important to us. A mantra such as, “I cannot always control what happens to me or around me, but, I can control how I choose to react to it,” can help us control our temper or anxiety and keep us grounded. A mantra when we are running up that hill, such as “I am strong” “I am strong,” can keep us moving and pushing forward. A mantra such as: “thank you God for this beautiful day and all the goodness it will bring” is a way to practice gratitude. A mantra when we are going to trial, deposition, or give a presentation, when our nerves are running high, such as “I am calm,” “I am calm ” can keep us relaxed and focused. A mantra allows us to keep calm, relax, stay focused and remind ourselves we are prepared and quite ready and perfectly capable of accomplishing the task at hand, while keeping us within our mission and value system we have created for ourselves.

 

The Buck Stops Here

 

Accountability. Accepting responsibility means accepting responsibility for “problems” you may feel you did not create; however, they are still put on your plate and you must accept responsibility and deal with them. Even more importantly, is accepting responsibility for the issues or problems that you did create or set-in motion. Deal with them head on. Confront reality. Do not ignore them. Do not hope they will go away. Confront and tackle them. When you agree to get involved with something, or you create the mess, clean it up. See it through. Do not pass the Buck, or blame anyone else for your troubles. Choose to accept it, take the blame if there is any blame that belongs on your plate. Make the best of it and move on. Especially when you are the leader of the team, and whatever transpires on your watch is ultimately your responsibility to bear and deal with. So deal with it and do not push your responsibility on others.

 

HOPE

Hope is the thing with feathers that perches in the soul and sings the tune without the words and never stops at all.  Emily Dickinson

Hope is a funny sort of thing, by that I mean it's both a “positive” and a “negative” to the extent that may be one's point of view. Positive because the very word hope is uplifting when we hear it, conjuring up the image of better days ahead. At the same time hope is a “negative” because it would suggest we are currently at present in a terrible, awful, or low spot and we may very well be. We “hope” to get out of it, but at the same time our current struggles, lows and battles are what makes us better, we improve from getting through them , so hope, similar to destiny or fate is really us struggling through our current predicament and coming out the other side, then eventually doing something similar all over again. Bottom line is hope is what we make it. Mark Manson has a great book, hope is F***** , if you can get past the title it's a very well researched and thought out practical read. Abe Lincoln said the best way to predict the future is to create it, one could also say the best way to have hope is to create it.

 

Dealing with Loss and Tragedy

 We have all experienced  heart wrenching loss.

 Loss of a spouse, mom, dad, son, daughter, brother, sister, best friend.

 Sometimes, it's unexpected and unnecessary loss, in the most cruelest of ways.

 How can we cope?  How can we deal with it?

 We must, so we do, we must carry on.

 But, were do we find the strength?

 As an attorney, I have met a lot of people, who have lost a loved one, and are grieving.  Often times, senseless, unnecessary loss, that could have been prevented of other people had followed the safety rules.

 I have also met a lot of people with tremendous heart, strength and inspiration.

 I marvel at how they can carry such pain in their hearts and carry on with great strength and fortitude.

 How do they do it?

 I think we each deal with our losses in our own way, in our own time, by ourselves and with the help of others.

 But, I think a big part of that, is simply asking ourselves:

      What would the person we have lost want us to do?

     What would they do? How would they do it?

 I believe we can and we must draw strength from these questions.

 Would they want us to shut ourselves in, shut down, or just be sad? Maybe for a little while, but then they would want us to get back up, dust ourselves off, and live the fullest, most productive, happiest lives we are capable of.

 Would they want us to get out there, smile, make the world a better place and honor their memories? Those wonderful memories. I think so, and they are there to help us.  Get out of our comfort zones and soar.

 I heard a song once, there is a line in it that goes something like, "did you ever know that you're my hero? The wind beneath my wings"

 We will always have the wind beneath our wings, it's just a matter of what we do with it.

 

 

EFFORT 

A surplus of effort could overcome a deficit of confidence. Sonia Sotomayer

Everyone has that self-doubt, anxiety, fear, apprehension, excitement, whatever label you want to put on it (I choose excitement) some people are just better at hiding it than others. But a funny thing happens when you do the work, practice, put in the effort. Our “anxiety” dissipates, and our confidence grows. “I got this”. The best elixir for nerves is preparation. We are all quite capable, and when we work at our skills or practice our craft, or prepare our presentation, speech, opening statement, whatever our current project is, as we prepare, a wonderful side effect of preparation, is reduced stress, lower anxiety, increased confidence. Ask any Olympic athlete before their event if they are nervous? Typical response is, heck no, I am excited, I am ready, let's go. That mindset comes from having put in the effort. Preparation.

 

PERFECTION

 

To improve is to change, to be perfect is to change often. Winston Churchill. Constant improvement is an excellent goal, perfection is not. I am not sure perfection even exists. We may get so caught up in believing things must be “perfect” or this or that must be “perfect”. Perfect can be paralyzing. Perfection is the enemy of good. Sometimes good is good enough. If we follow one of the most fundamental rules of life, “do your best” isn't that all we can do, is our best? We can all improve, constantly. We can do the work, prepare, and get the job done in the best way we know how and that is that. If we seek “perfection” we will never get anything done, we can spend 5 hours getting 99% of the fence painted and then spend five more hours just finishing those last touches trying to eliminate all those brush stroke marks, just to make it look exactly perfectly right to the discerning eye if you can even see it, when it looked pretty darn good five hours before. What did that additional 5 hours get us?

 

THE SERENITY PRAYER

 

God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change.

Courage to change the things I can and wisdom to know the difference.

Living one day at a time.

Enjoying one moment at a time.

 Accepting hardships as the pathway to peace.

Taking, as he did, this sinful world as it is; Not as I would have it .

Trusting he will make all things right if I surrender to his will.

That I may be reasonably happy in this life and supremely happy with him forever in the next.

 

 

 

What Should You Do If You Are in a Car Crash?

Oftentimes, following a car crash, those involved experience a flood of emotions, including confusion over what just happened. The scene may be chaotic. Being prepared and remaining calm can make the process much easier. There are certain steps you may want to take in order to ensure that everyone is safe and that your rights are protected.

Remember:

·       Check yourself and your passengers for injuries.

·       If someone is injured, call immediately for medical help.

·       Get to a safe location.

·       If you are able to do so, move to the side of the road or a sidewalk. If your car is safe to drive and is causing a hazard where it is, pull over to the side of the road. Remember you may still be on an active roadway, be sure to check and know your surroundings before you instinctively get out of the car stepping out on to an active roadway. Safety first. Be aware and stay calm.

·       Call 911.

·       The responding police officers will fill out a report and document what occurred.

·       Exchange information with the other driver, including the following:

·       The driver’s name, address, and telephone number;

·       Insurance information;

·       Driver’s license and license plate number; and

·       Make, model, year and color of the vehicle.

·       Document the car crash.

·       Get the contact information of all responding police officers.

·       Ask the police officers where you can obtain a copy of the Police Crash Report.

·       Gather information from any witnesses, including their names, addresses, and phone numbers.

·       Use your phone to take pictures of the crash scene, including the surrounding area, any property damage, your injuries, and any physical evidence such as an item on the road that may have caused the crash.

·       Report the crash to your insurance company.

The initial aftermath of a car crash can be daunting. If anyone was injured, it is best to consult an attorney as soon as possible. This can ensure that your rights are protected should you need to take legal action against the responsible party.

 

DAILY ROUTINE CHECKLIST

 

·      Wake up when wake up

·      Coffee-Stretch-Practice Gratitude

·      Serenity Prayer

·      Exercise one hour (7 mile run)

·      9 minute Ab routine

·      Daily Stoic (Ryan Holiday)

·      Pay tribute to the Muses (Steven Pressfield)

·      Work Checklist

·      Walk the dog 3x

·      Walk alone 2x (Rich Roll Podcast or the Knowledge Project)

·      Yoga (Youtube Yoga with Adrienne or Sarah Beth)

·      Read 30 minutes (current read-Churchill-Walking with Destiny-Andrew Roberts)

·      Journal

·      Ten Minutes Total Silence

It Always Seems Impossible Until It's Done

 

It always seems impossible until it’s done.

                                                          Nelson Mandela

 A mile, 5K, 10K, half marathon, marathon, ultra-marathon, “oh, I could never do that”, that is until you put one foot in front of the other and just get started and before you know it you are at that mile marker, or finish line and starting to wonder, what's next? What am I capable of?  (We typically only go to 40% of what we are truly capable of-David Goggins)

 A journey of 1000 miles starts with the first step. (Lao Tzu) Just get started and divine Providence will intervene, and magical things will happen. Whether it be marathons and ultra- marathons or in the ultra-marathon of life, overcoming that resistance (Steven Pressfield-Do the Work) is the first hurdle. The mind is perfectly capable of talking us out of anything, “that is impossible, you can't do that” and poof all too often we believe ourselves and that's the end of that fleeting thought, good intentions or our dreams. It's just like getting in the cold shower, at first it's a little shocking, and then before you know it, it's like, “hey this feels pretty good”. Believe in the impossible. Believe in yourself.

 

Ten Simple Rules

 

1. Be kind. The benefits of being kind-or at the very least courteous-far outweigh the effort you put in. Do random acts of kindness.  Compliment someone. If a retail worker or food-service worker makes a mistake, be understanding and patient. Kind people live longer than unkind people.
2. I know myself better than anyone else. Don’t let anyone else’s opinions control what you do, how you act, or what you say.  Other peoples’ opinions are suggestions-take them or leave them. Don’t make assumptions, and don’t take it personally. It’s not about you.
3. Everyone else is as worried and insecure as you are, some people just hide it better. It does not mean that they are smarter or better than you.
4. Laugh it off. If you make a mistake, fall down, or do something dumb, just laugh it off. Other people (and you) will forget it a lot faster if you just let it roll off your back. EVERYONE makes mistakes. Everyone. You aren’t alone and you aren’t the biggest idiot in the world. Give yourself a break.
5. It’s just stuff.  Sure, stuff gets broken-often times accidently by people you love-and that’s annoying, but your stuff can be replaced. You can never erase hurtful words you say to the person you love because they broke your stuff. Stuff is never, ever, as important as those you love.
6. You are probably a lot smarter than you give yourself credit for being.
7. Don’t judge. You don’t know all the facts. We all have our faults and bad habits.  As a pretty famous guy is alleged to have said, “Let he who is without sin cast the first stone.”
8. Don’t beat yourself up. Do what you can to fix your mistakes, then move on. Guilt is only good for pushing you toward making things right again. After that, it becomes, shame, and shame is a toxic substance that will eat you up inside. Same for worry.
9. Enjoy Life. Literally, stop to smell and admire the flowers. Wonder. Be curious. Go play outside. Smile at strangers. Dance in the rain. Have fun.
10. Life goes by really, really fast. Live each day so that, at the end, you’re reveling in how amazing your life was, not regretting all the things you do or didn’t do.