NATURE

Nature has a way of showing us the way. The beautiful jaw dropping sunrise that makes us say, wow! The full moon that shines bright, with a gazillion stars all around. The rainbow after or during the rain. The wind behind our backs. The wind in our face. The stillness. The hurricane, tornado, snowstorm, may all come and go, but there is always stillness, calm, and beauty after a storm and there is always a storm after the beautiful clear day. Have you ever noticed that the sun seems to shine brightest after the storm? Just like nature we also seem to bounce back or reach new heights after our own storm or fall. But each day no matter what the sun rises, some days it's warmer or brighter than others, but it's always there. Spring Flowers, spring growth, summer, fall, winter are all transformations, repeatedly. Just like us. Even in the darkest hours, we have the moon to show us the way. Yes, it waxes and wanes, but it's always there. So, pay attention to nature. Be with nature. Follow nature because it shows us the way. You just need to pay attention.

 WIND

“You are the wind beneath my wings” Bette Midler

Sometimes the wind is still. Sometimes the wind is beneath your wings. Sometimes the wind is at your back and sometimes it is in your face. Cold, bitter, strong, gale winds, right in your face. No matter what, just keep going. The sun will always shine brightest after the storm. This too shall pass and once again the winds will turn to stillness, beneath your wings or at your back. The eagle may soar majestically, effortlessly a mile in the sky above us, but, they weren't just magically put there. They flap their wings and work their way up . To stay there, while it may look easy, is difficult, often much harder work, especially when the winds kick up again, which they inevitably will, but, we must stay the course, keep moving, flapping our wings, relying on our training, practice and natural talents and strengths that brought us up to begin with. We may need to alter our path, but just keep at it. There is no stronger, brighter, more rewarding moment than rising up after the wind has knocked us down or held us back. We can and will overcome it.

 

MANTRA

A mantra can help keep us focused or bring us back to reminding us what is important to us. A mantra such as, “I cannot always control what happens to me or around me, but, I can control how I choose to react to it,” can help us control our temper or anxiety and keep us grounded. A mantra when we are running up that hill, such as “I am strong” “I am strong,” can keep us moving and pushing forward. A mantra such as: “thank you God for this beautiful day and all the goodness it will bring” is a way to practice gratitude. A mantra when we are going to trial, deposition, or give a presentation, when our nerves are running high, such as “I am calm,” “I am calm ” can keep us relaxed and focused. A mantra allows us to keep calm, relax, stay focused and remind ourselves we are prepared and quite ready and perfectly capable of accomplishing the task at hand, while keeping us within our mission and value system we have created for ourselves.

 

The Buck Stops Here

 

Accountability. Accepting responsibility means accepting responsibility for “problems” you may feel you did not create; however, they are still put on your plate and you must accept responsibility and deal with them. Even more importantly, is accepting responsibility for the issues or problems that you did create or set-in motion. Deal with them head on. Confront reality. Do not ignore them. Do not hope they will go away. Confront and tackle them. When you agree to get involved with something, or you create the mess, clean it up. See it through. Do not pass the Buck, or blame anyone else for your troubles. Choose to accept it, take the blame if there is any blame that belongs on your plate. Make the best of it and move on. Especially when you are the leader of the team, and whatever transpires on your watch is ultimately your responsibility to bear and deal with. So deal with it and do not push your responsibility on others.

 

HOPE

Hope is the thing with feathers that perches in the soul and sings the tune without the words and never stops at all.  Emily Dickinson

Hope is a funny sort of thing, by that I mean it's both a “positive” and a “negative” to the extent that may be one's point of view. Positive because the very word hope is uplifting when we hear it, conjuring up the image of better days ahead. At the same time hope is a “negative” because it would suggest we are currently at present in a terrible, awful, or low spot and we may very well be. We “hope” to get out of it, but at the same time our current struggles, lows and battles are what makes us better, we improve from getting through them , so hope, similar to destiny or fate is really us struggling through our current predicament and coming out the other side, then eventually doing something similar all over again. Bottom line is hope is what we make it. Mark Manson has a great book, hope is F***** , if you can get past the title it's a very well researched and thought out practical read. Abe Lincoln said the best way to predict the future is to create it, one could also say the best way to have hope is to create it.

 

Dealing with Loss and Tragedy

 We have all experienced  heart wrenching loss.

 Loss of a spouse, mom, dad, son, daughter, brother, sister, best friend.

 Sometimes, it's unexpected and unnecessary loss, in the most cruelest of ways.

 How can we cope?  How can we deal with it?

 We must, so we do, we must carry on.

 But, were do we find the strength?

 As an attorney, I have met a lot of people, who have lost a loved one, and are grieving.  Often times, senseless, unnecessary loss, that could have been prevented of other people had followed the safety rules.

 I have also met a lot of people with tremendous heart, strength and inspiration.

 I marvel at how they can carry such pain in their hearts and carry on with great strength and fortitude.

 How do they do it?

 I think we each deal with our losses in our own way, in our own time, by ourselves and with the help of others.

 But, I think a big part of that, is simply asking ourselves:

      What would the person we have lost want us to do?

     What would they do? How would they do it?

 I believe we can and we must draw strength from these questions.

 Would they want us to shut ourselves in, shut down, or just be sad? Maybe for a little while, but then they would want us to get back up, dust ourselves off, and live the fullest, most productive, happiest lives we are capable of.

 Would they want us to get out there, smile, make the world a better place and honor their memories? Those wonderful memories. I think so, and they are there to help us.  Get out of our comfort zones and soar.

 I heard a song once, there is a line in it that goes something like, "did you ever know that you're my hero? The wind beneath my wings"

 We will always have the wind beneath our wings, it's just a matter of what we do with it.

 

 

EFFORT 

A surplus of effort could overcome a deficit of confidence. Sonia Sotomayer

Everyone has that self-doubt, anxiety, fear, apprehension, excitement, whatever label you want to put on it (I choose excitement) some people are just better at hiding it than others. But a funny thing happens when you do the work, practice, put in the effort. Our “anxiety” dissipates, and our confidence grows. “I got this”. The best elixir for nerves is preparation. We are all quite capable, and when we work at our skills or practice our craft, or prepare our presentation, speech, opening statement, whatever our current project is, as we prepare, a wonderful side effect of preparation, is reduced stress, lower anxiety, increased confidence. Ask any Olympic athlete before their event if they are nervous? Typical response is, heck no, I am excited, I am ready, let's go. That mindset comes from having put in the effort. Preparation.