INDIVIDUAL

 

INDIVIDUAL

“I believe in individuality, that everybody is special, and

it’s up to them to find that quality and let it live.”

                                                            Grace Jones

I am an individual. I am unique. I am unlike any other. My purpose

in life is unique, specific, individual to me in my time, in my space in

my choices, in my actions and what is being asked of me right now.

How I choose to respond and react to the individual specific question

being asked of me at any given point in time will dictate how I “feel”

about myself. Did I do the right thing? Did I act in accordance with my

virtues and values? Did I not respond? Did I fail to respond? Did I fail

to rise to the occasion? Did I not even hear the question? Did I see

it? Did I choose to ignore it? Look the other way? Take a stand. Act.

Run towards the fire. Tackle what is put in front of you. Eat what is on

your plate. Big or small. One step at a time. It is your responsibility.

Whatever happens, happens, you must deal with it. How you deal with

it is your responsibility and your choice. How you “feel” about it will

be guided by how you choose to act, not to act or how you dealt with

it. It is always your responsibility. It is always your individual choice.

Each time life gives you an individual question directed at you, how

will you choose to answer?

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WHO ARE YOU?

“Don’t let the expectations and opinions of other people

affect your decisions. It’s your life, not theirs. Do what

matters most to you; do what makes you feel alive and

happy. Don’t let the expectations and ideas of others limit

who you are. If you let others tell you who you are, you are

living their reality — not yours. There is more to life than

pleasing people. There is much more to life than following

others’ prescribed path. There is so much more to life than

what you experience right now. You need to decide who

you are for yourself. Become a whole being. Adventure.”

                                        Roy T. Bennett

It is an innocent, throwaway question, or is it? It is much deeper than

that and really goes to the core of our being. Our soul. Why we are

here? What we are going to do with our lives? Are we merely uniform

parts or cogs to fit in a predetermined system? Parts. Throw away parts

that are easily replaceable? That would seem what society trains us

for. Are we machines who are programmed to go to work, earn money,

pay taxes, then punch out and “die”? I think not. We are divine spirits

placed in our roles and placed through some higher power, in this

space, in this time, in this set of circumstances. What are we going

to choose to do with all we have been gifted? Be uniform parts in a

predetermined uniform system? No, not I! I choose to accept what I

cannot control but know what I can control and steer my own divine

ship. Take care of my mind. Take care of my body. Take care of my

spirit. Take care of other people whose lives cross paths with my own.

Whatever I am called on to do I will do it and do my best. Accept it.

Act in accordance with my own virtues and values. My own sense of

right and wrong. Always doing my best. Always being the best version

of myself in the moment.

You can get the International bestseller The Shi*t I Wished I learned in College here:

 https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0C5FMWDGW

ME

ME

 “All I can be is me. Whoever that is.”

                            Bob Dylan

Our true genuine, authentic, unique self. Whoever that is, is all we

got. Who am I? We spend a lifetime trying to figure that out. For what

am I here? What is my purpose? At our core we know who we are

our virtues and values, but we are not statues either. We are like a

river, constantly changing and adapting, growing, evolving, learning,

changing directions. Who we were five years ago, three years ago,

last year, yesterday is not the same person we are today. In fact, that

person is dead, and a new person is born each day. We have the same

core foundation, but we are constantly growing, changing, gaining

wisdom, learning, forgetting. So too are the world and other people

around us. Neither will we be the same person we are right now a

year from now, three years from now, 10 years from now, tomorrow.

Some things don’t change, the truth, our sense of right and wrong,

but we get better, we are in different circumstances, and we prepare

for the future, but we act and take care of the now.

You can get the International bestseller The Shi*t I Wished I learned in College here:

 https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0C5FMWDGW

BE

 BE

Be grateful. Be thankful. Be appreciative. Be satisfied. Be aware. Be

observant. Be with nature. Be accepting. Be receptive. Be open. Be

transparent. Be skeptical but listen. Be kind. Be polite. Be honest. Be

humble. Be sincere. Be truthful. Be authentic. Be strong. Be resilient.

Be moderate. Be temperate. Be focused. Be what is in your control.

Be forgiving. Be powerful. Be impactful. Be out for the common good.

Be persevering. Be steadfast. Be inspiring. Be a role model. Be you.

Be adventurous. Be yourself. Be good. Be.

You can get the International bestseller The Shi*t I Wished I learned in College here:

 https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0C5FMWDGW

CONTROL

 

CONTROL

“If everything seems to be under control,

you are not going fast enough.”

                                                Mario Andretti

There are very few things we can control. We can control how we

choose to see things. How we choose to react to things. We cannot

always control what happens to us or around us, but we can control

how we react to it. Our anxiety comes from wanting things that are

outside our control. We can control our point of view. We can control

how we feel. How we see the world. How we react to circumstances

around us. We can prepare. We can train. We can get in the arena. We

can just get started. We can get out of our comfort zones. We can get

on the surfboard and be riding the wave, then we may find ourselves

underwater. Relax, accept it, rely on your physical and mental training

and the waves will pass over us. We know what we must do. Do our

best. Do the work. We cannot always control the stimulus, but we

can control our response. We can control our own behavior, our own

actions, and reactions. We must focus on what is within our control

and let go of what we cannot control. What other people do and think

is their choice, not ours. Who cares what other people think, they have

their own problems and are not thinking about us anyway. Do what

we can do and do it well in line with our virtues and values. Control is

defined in the dictionary as: “to exercise restraining or directing influence

over; to have power over.” How do we choose to exercise our

control? Do we choose to respond with anger, spite, vitriol, revenge?

The better course of action is to pause, reflect, contemplate, plan

out our possible choices and responses, then respond with courage,

confidence, contemplation, calmness, clarity, and character. Be better.

Do not make assumptions. Consider the other person’s point of view.

Consider you may not always be right. You do not know all the facts.

You have something to learn. Be curious. Cool as a cucumber. Calculated.

Cunning. Often the best revenge is to not act like the other

person is acting. Have the courage and mindset to look at what you

can control and let go of what you cannot control.

At first thought, this is tough to reconcile with the Stoic benchmark

principles Epictetus taught of concentrating on what you can control

(your thoughts, mind, and choices) and what you cannot control (externals).

The concepts are perfectly aligned. Like the racecar driver, a

skier, biker, we are behind the wheel. We are in control. That is until

you hit a pothole, or someone hits you, but those are externals. If we

focus on what we can control, we can indeed put the pedal to the metal

and act. Pushing ourselves to the limits. It may be a fine line, but it is

indeed within our control. How far we push ourselves. We may have

the sensation we are “out of control,” however, with well- planned

preparation and training we are not. We maintain control of ourselves

and proceed according to our well thought out plan. External problems

may happen on our journey that temporarily send us spinning out of

control, but we remain behind the wheel with our feet on the gas or

brake, shifting gears as we go but still in control.

You can get the International bestseller The Shi*t I Wished I learned in College here:

 https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0C5FMWDGW

Point of View

                                 POINT OF VIEW

“I’m very confident in my point of view. ‘Cause I think that

that’s all you can really have. I’m never really going to

know what anybody else is going through, so it’s just kind

of your job to be expressive with your point of view.”

                                        Donald Glover

It is all a matter of how we look at things. Point of View (POV).

Perception. Choices. Frame of mind. We choose. We get to decide

how we will view things. The glass is half empty or half full. Rose

colored glasses. It could be worse; it could be better. We decide. Fate.

Things happen for a reason. Someone, something put us here for a

reason. We may not be able to control external things, but we do and

can control our own mind, our own choices, our own decisions. That

is if we do not let other people take what is ours, our choice, our mind

away from us. We can control our internal things, how we feel, how

we think, how we choose to act, but beyond that, we cannot always

control what is happening around us. We can endeavor to influence

external forces that we cannot totally control. We can try to influence

or push in the right direction, how we want things to go, rather than

turning the other way or turning a blind eye. We can try to make a

difference. We should think less about what we want and start thinking

about what other people want. We see what we want to see. We get a

thought in our head, and it can be like a weed that grows and grows,

or beautiful flowers that grow and grow. We see what we tell ourselves

we see. We believe what we tell ourselves we should believe. We see

what we choose to see. Everything, I mean everything that happens

to us, is an opportunity to see the beauty and the challenge of it. We

see opportunity, challenge, joy, beauty. Imagine what we choose to

imagine. Everything that happens makes us better. If it is too easy it

makes us weaker. We were made for strength, adversity, adaptability,

struggle, to work hard and be productive. Do the work. If it can be

thought of it can be done and we can open our eyes to the beauty

and joy of the process. We always have control of how we see things.

We set our point of view and perception. We control our minds. The

world is constantly trying to take control over our minds. What other

people think. Our phones. Social media. What we read. Who and

what we choose to give our attention to is our choice. No one can take

that from us. How we choose to spend our time is our choice. What

I choose to do is my choice. How I feel is my choice. How I react is

my choice. We cannot always control what happens to or around us,

but we can control how we respond, react or how we feel about it.

We can choose to see positive. We can choose happiness. We can

choose doom and gloom. We can choose to push forward and continue

through adversity. We can choose anger, but really what good does

that do us in the end? We can choose to see the glass as half full or

half empty. We can choose to help people. We can choose when we

say yes and when we say no. It is our lens how we choose to see the

world around us. It is our point of view. It is our mind that is always

within our control.

You can get the International bestseller The Shi*t I Wished I learned in College here:

 https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0C5FMWDGW

Stronger

 

STRONGER

“That which does not kill us makes us stronger. Friedrich Nietzsche

Nietzsche may have been talking about near death experiences, but I suspect more likely, the every day “little” things that we fret and stress over. As we worry and whip ourselves into a frenzy leading up to an event, or worrying about what will happen, the everyday struggles. We will get through them, be the better for having gone through it and come out the other side stronger. Better for it. A life without struggle is not worth living. Then again, Nietzsche may have been talking about those narrow escape near death experiences where we escape the grips of death and ask ourselves, “Why me?” “Why did I survive?” “What am I meant to do in the future now that I survived this?”  This makes us stronger mentally because we now realize how precious every second of life is and that life can be over in an instant. After these “near death” experiences the flowers seem a little more colorful, the sun a little brighter, gray skies not so dark, our loved one’s faces a little more beautiful. The annoying stuff that used to be a big deal suddenly, not so annoying. We have more resilience. More patience. More perseverance. More willpower. More grit. A new point of view. We take on a new perspective, looking at our world through a different lens. A new sense of appreciation for what is and what we have.

You can get the International bestseller The Shi*t I Wished I learned in College here:

 https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0C5FMWDGW